Об английском. И очень нужна помощь...

Возник вопрос, к тем кто уехал в англоязычные страны - как учили язык? Сколько у кого на это ушло времени? Что можете посоветовать тем, кто язык учить только начинает?
И еще... Очень нужна помощь. Сейчас готовлюсь к экзамену в аспирантуру. Иностранный язык предмет не профильный, но сдавать его надо. Один из пунктов сдачи - "общение", то есть надо подготовить рассказ и его на экзамене "выдать". Текст я написал, но правильно ли поставил артикли и т. п. не знаю. Так как знакомых, знающих английский язык у меня нет, то обращаюсь к Вам. Может не сочтете трудным и прочитаете небольшую бредню на английском на предмет артиклей и "грамотно - не грамотно"? Буду Вам очень признателен!

"I'm violist. And therefore i want to tell you about one of the best concertos for my instrument. This is concerto for viola with orchestra by Bela Bartok. He began writing it in 1945. It's his last composition. Concerto was dedicated to William Primrose. But Bela Bartok didn't finish this work. He is dead in 1945 and his student, Tibor Serly, finish this concerto in 1949.
Concerto for viola with orchestra by Bela Bartok have three movements. The first movement begin by a very beautiful idea. This is a traditional Hungarian melody. Viola play this theme with lite accompaniment by string section. Every measure of concerto have a national color. Concerto for viola with orchestra by Bela Bartok is one of the rare concertos, where a soloist and an orcherstra haven't dramatic conflict. The mood of the first movement are gradually changing from lyric to heroics.
In the develop the rapid motion of music in the orchestral's partys and virtuoso theme of viola are reaching ahigest level. There is a briliant solo of viola in a centre of the first movement. This cadenza combines two thematic lines of the first movement. Dance melody are changing to lyrical, and again breaks into a dance. The first movement of concerto for viola with orchestra by Bela Bartok is a very hard composition for viola. Only the better musicians have this concerto in they repertoire.
Second movement of concerto is song. It's a very beautiful music. Performer must have a great sound for this composition. Second movement is short enough. This music is not easy for the performance, although this statement is true for the whole concerto.
The third part of the concerto is based on the dance motives. It's a brilliant and virtuosic music.Bright arrangement makes the holiday spirit. This movement requires special skills of the artist. If in the first and second movements of the concerto the performer must have exelent quality of the sound, in the third movement the performer needs a good fluency fingers.
Each movement of concerto is very hard. The performer are needs a lot of effort. You can rare to hear this concerto as a whole. A lot of performers play only first or second and third movements of this concerto.
The first performer of concerto for viola with orchestra by Bela Bartok is William Primrose. He is one of the best violists of twentieth Century. He performed it in the USA. The first who performed this concerto in Russia is Feodor Druzhinin.
Now, concerto for viola by Bela Bartok is a classic of viola's repertoire. Concerto for viola with orchestra by Shnitke and concerto for viola with orchestra by Bartok is a highest level of viola's art. And they are the most difficult work for performers."

Поправил на свое усмотрение. Не бери за идеал, я тоже могу ошибаться.
Несколько напрягает использование термина "movements". Я не музыкант, не знаю специфики.

"I'm a violist. And therefore I want to tell you about one of the best concertos for my instrument. This is the "Concerto For Viola With Orchestra" by Bela Bartok. He began writing it in 1945. It's his last composition. Concert was dedicated to William Primrose. But Bela Bartok didn't finish this work. He died in 1945 and his student, Tibor Serly, finished this concerto in 1949.
Concerto for viola with orchestra by Bela Bartok have three movements(parts, actions, scenes). The first movement begin with a very beautiful idea. This is a traditional Hungarian melody. Viola plays this theme with a delicate accompaniment by string section. Every measure of concerto have a national color. Concerto for viola with orchestra by Bela Bartok is one of the rare concertos, where a soloist and an orchestra have no dramatic conflict. The mood of the first movement is gradually changing from lyric to heroics.
In the development the rapid motion of music in the orchestral parties and virtuoso theme of viola are reaching the highest levels. There is the brilliant solo of viola in the centre of the first movement. This cadenza combines two thematic lines of the first movement. Dance melody is changing to lyrical, and again breaks into a dance. The first movement of concerto for viola with orchestra by Bela Bartok is a very hard composition for viola. Only the best musicians have this concerto in their repertoire.
Second movement of concerto is song. It's a very beautiful music. Performer must produce a great sound for this composition. Second movement is short enough. This music is not easy for the performance, although this applies for the whole concerto.
The third part of the concerto is based on the dance motives. It's a brilliant and virtuosic music. Bright arrangement creates a holiday spirit. This movement requires special skills of the artist. If in the first and second movements of the concerto the performer must have excellent quality of the sound, in the third movement the performer needs good fingers fluency.
Each movement of concerto is very hard. The performer needs a lot of effort. You can rarely hear this concerto as a whole. A lot of performers play only first or second and third movements of this concerto.
The first performer of concerto for viola with orchestra by Bela Bartok is William Primrose. He is one of the best violists of twentieth Century. He performed it in the USA. The first who performed this concerto in Russia is Feodor Druzhinin.
Now, concerto for viola by Bela Bartok is a classic of viola's repertoire. Concerto for viola with orchestra by Shnitke and concerto for viola with orchestra by Bartok is a highest level of viola's art. And they are the most difficult job for performers."

Далее. Просто мои комментарии и мое ИМХО. Названия всегда пишутся с большой буквы. Многолоскные названия - каждое слово с большой буквы.
Постоянное использование полного названия музыкального произведения и его автора - напрягает не по детски.
Общее впечатление - текст скомпонован из довольно грамотных и расхожих штампов(видимо надерганых из печати) и относительно корявых связок самостоятельного сочинения. Не зная требований к уровню языка трудно оценить прокатит или нет такой опус.

Огромное спасибо!
Штампы - это меня так учили 😊 запомнить обороты и использовать их везде, а вот связывать не учили совсем... 😞
"movement" - это у англоязычных музыкантов соответствует слову "часть". Почему не "part" сам не знаю, но так принято.
Еще раз огромное Вам спасибо!

Are you a violist or violinist. Viola plays, not "play". Honestly, this text is OK for a 6-grader who has jsut started learning the language, but for a PhD candidate... I don't know.

--
Коган-варвар

3-е лицо не соблюдается:

The first movement beginS with a very beautiful idea

Every measure of concerto haS a national color.

артикли:

There is A brilliant solo of viola in the centre of the first movement.

Second movement of concerto is A song

корелляция времен в одном предложении (одно и тоже время глаголов или то или другое):

Dance melody CHANGES to lyrical, and again breaks into a dance.

неправильное употребление существительного:

This music is not easy TO PERFORM, although this applies for the whole concerto.

неудачный оборот:

The performer needs a lot of effort.

Concerto for viola with orchestra by Shnitke and concerto for viola with orchestra by Bartok ARE highest level of viola's art.

неправильное время:

The first performer of concerto for viola with orchestra by Bela Bartok WAS William Primrose.
The first who performed this concerto in Russia WAS Feodor Druzhinin

Вот вроде все что я заметил в уже втором тексте

Не люблю Бартока Белу. Вообще кошмар 20 века не люблю. И большую часть 19-го.
Замечания Самал Ришона самые кооректные.
Рart может состоять из разных Movement.
Begins with a beautiful idea - traditional Hungarian melody starts the first movement...
etc.

ctb
Are you a violist or violinist.

Самал Ришон
3-е лицо не соблюдается:

PAULIUS
Не люблю Бартока Белу

тоже наколупал чуток :

the rapid flow of music - но rapid тоже как-то не так... может просто tempo ?

Concerto for viola with orchestra by Bela Bartok has three movements

The mood of the first movement gradually changes from lyrical to heroic.

There is a brilliant solo

must produce a great sound - по-русски это что ?

Second movement is quite short.

This music is not easy to perform

Bright arrangement creates a holiday mood.

must have excellent quality of the sound, - по-русски ?

good finger fluency.

Знаете, если бы я принимал экзамен и студень изложил бы мне свой опус на чистейшем Йоркширкском диалекте, я бы заподозрил и поставил 4. Сюжет должен быть написан правдоподобно... ИМХО.

Дмитрий .М
Знаете, если бы я принимал экзамен и студень изложил бы мне свой опус на чистейшем Йоркширкском диалекте, я бы заподозрил и поставил 4. Сюжет должен быть написан правдоподобно... ИМХО.

Техзадание ведь было озвучено.

fd15k
must produce a great sound - по-русски это что ?

fd15k
must have excellent quality of the sound, - по-русски ?

fd15k
good finger fluency.

Violist
ам в изначальном варианте имелось ввиду, что исполнитель должен обладать хорошим звуком (поэтому я писал must have). Например, исполнитель с "хорошим звуком" может извлечь красивый звук даже из "корыта", а хороший инструмент в его руках будет, как говориться, петь.)

Понятно. Я не знаю как это должно быть по-английски - надо поискать критические статьи на тему, и
сравнить терминологию.

Уважемый Old Fart. За "халявщика" вам спасибо - так меня еще никто не называл. А вот про народ не надо...

Огромное всем спасибо за помощь!

Тяжело такие вещи переводить, рука не набита на правильные синонимы и обороты. Накачайте програм от разных оркестров, там будут все что надо.

I'm a violist. The viola repertoire is not as ample as that for piano or violin. This is why it is my great pleasure to tell you about a very special composition for the instrument I play, Bela Bartok's "Concerto For Viola". (я всегда считал, что концерт по определению для инструмента с оркестром. получаются лишние слова)

Bartok started composing the concerto in 1945. This was his last work; Bartok died later that year before finishing it. The work was continued by his student, Tibor Serly, and completed in 1949. The concert is dedicated to William Primrose, one of the most brilliant violists of the past century.

The Concerto for Viola is comprised of three movements. The first movement begins with a traditional Hungarian melody, a very beautiful tune. The viola performs the theme with a delicate accompaniment by the string section. Every measure (это терминология музыкальная part может быть?) of the concerto has a national color (a national color - если разные национальные окраски, the national color если именно венгерские везде). This concerto is one of the few concertos where the soloist and the orchestra have no dramatic conflict.

The mood of the first movement is gradually changing from lyrical to heroic. In the development, the rapid motion of the music in the orchestral parties and the virtuoso theme of viola are reaching the highest levels. There is the brilliant solo of viola at the centre (Ранее вы пишите color, это американский вариант, а centre это английский вариант. Cтоит придерживаться одного из написаний. либо color и center или же colour и centre. то же самое и для programme vs program. У меня есть личное нерациональное предубеждение против слова concerto, если бы я использовал слово conerto, то я тогда использовал бы colour, centre и programme, чтобы подумали что я чиса европеец, а не просто выеб.ваюсь. Если вы хотите просто сообщить, что там есть замечательное соло в середине первой части по времени то будет in there is a brilliant solo in the middle, если это соло является кульминацией, событием первой части, то there is the brilliant solo at the centre. Мне кажется, что вы имели ввиду второе.) of the first movement. This cadenza combines two thematic lines of the first movement. The dance melody is changing to lyrical, and again breaks into a dance. The first movement of the concerto is a very difficult composition for viola. It requires a very fine technique and only the best musicians include the concerto in their repertoire.

The second movement of concerto is a song. The great performers produce a very special sound in this part. The Second movement is fairly short. The score is not easy to play, although this applies to the whole concerto.

The third part of the concerto is based on dance motives. It is a brilliant and virtuosic music. The bright arrangement creates a truly holiday spirit. This movement, too, requires special skills from the soloist. While in the first and the second movements of the concerto the performer must have excellent quality of the sound, in the third movement the performer needs good fingers fluency.

Each movement of concerto is very difficult. Performing it is an immense effort, this is why all the movements are rarely included in one programme. Many musicians play only the first or the second and the third movements.

The first performer of the concerto was the dedicatee, William Primrose. He was performing the concerto in the USA. The first one to perform the concerto in Russia was Feodor Druzhinin.

These days, the concerto for viola by Bela Bartok is a classic of viola repertoire. The Concerto for viola with orchestra by Shnitke and the concerto for viola with orchestra by Bartok are at the highest level of violist's art due to their technical complexity.